Balls said the Queen, If I had them Id be King.

I met a really gorgeous guy with eyes of misty brown.

They twinkled at me as he asked if I would ‘play a round’.

I didn’t need a second thought, I answered straightaway

That I would do whatever he liked and it could take all day.

“Well – only a couple of hours perhaps, depending on our skill

And how we play together.” He bent me to his will;

I’d follow him forever and play his favourite game.

I swallowed quickly, smiled and said “Do you want to know my name?”

“Yes, he said “and everything else – your strength and weakness too.

What is your handicap?” he asked. Oh dear – what could I do?

My handicap had always been my bossy attitude

Which all my ‘exes’ told me created an angry mood.

And then I am a gambler, on the pokies all the time.

The money I lose is enormous. Is that my greatest crime?

What other handicap did I have? Buying shoes and hats?

Taking all day to clean the house, stopping for too many chats?

How many did he want? It was a daunting task.

I looked at him in silence and was afraid to ask,

But he saved the day by telling me that his handicap was five.

I’d thought of only four, so my hopes were still alive.

We set off in his car and I hugged myself with glee.

We were going to eat as well – I think he mentioned ‘tea’.

The countryside was lovely with trees and grassy land.

Somewhere near a beach: I saw a hill of sand,

Or was it a playground over there, with many flags in view?

I didn’t care, I just sat back and planned what I would do.

The time we spent together was perfect in every way.

The sun shone down upon us, not a drop of rain all day.

He’d thought of everything to heighten my delight:

A rug and picnic basket, the food was such a sight;

Wine as well and napkins, glasses and thermos flask.

Whatever I wanted, it was there. I didn’t have to ask.

And as for playing around: we didn’t stop at all.

We didn’t keep score or pause. We simply had a ball!

………………

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